Lucky

The biggest mistake I ALMOST made was deciding not to have a child.  Even now, nearly nine years later, I will often think to myself,  “Well!  That was a close call!”  Because not to have had this boy that is mine, well, it’s hard to even think what my life would have been like without him.

In my late twenties and early thirties, I was busy and mostly happy, working hard in my career with children and spending time with my nieces and nephews.  I had no boyfriend, no husband-like prospects.  I talked myself into thinking I didn’t really need to have kids, I had all the kids at work and the amazing kids in my family.  These kids occupied almost more time than I had.  They were enough.

Weren’t they?

Even after I met my boyfriend who is now my husband, I was certain I did not want to be a mother.  I was even busier with my work and family and I was getting older.  What would I do with a kid, I asked myself.

What would I do?

But then I turned 39 and….things just changed.  I began to imagine just what I WOULD do if  I had a kid, what my life might be like.  Besides, what was I going to be doing in 20 years- watching my sisters become grandmothers?  That didn’t seem like near as much fun as having my own child.

So, at the age of 40, I had my boy.  And never looked back.  My old life, the one I lived before he was born was my black and white life.  Like in the Wizard of Oz before the color came on.  Not a bad life but nothing compared to life with this boy.  He saved me from myself and helped me to be who I am today:  a mom.  All the other accomplishments in my life pale in comparison to him, my biggest accomplishment.  He is the best part of me.

Today, I took my boy to a Fire Services Day at the local fire station where we walked around in the hot sun looking at different displays and demonstrations put on by the fire fighters.  My son watched as a vehicle was set on fire and a fire truck came screaming up to put the fire out.  And I watched him, the look on his face, the excitement in his eyes.  We went to Walmart where I hissed at the boy more than once to stop fooling around or he was going to tip the cart over on top of himself.  On the way home, my son said,  “This was an AWESOME day, Mom!”

Yes.  Yes, it was.

Happy Mother’s Day to everyone who is lucky enough to be in The Club. The Mom Club.  I feel so grateful to be a part of this club and relieved that I did not miss my chance to belong. 

And I really do feel lucky.  Every single day.

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3 responses to “Lucky

  1. “The Mom Club.” I like that name. And I, too, am glad to be a part of it. My husband and I have two daughters, ages 19 and 14. We are adjusting now to the oldest one being away from home, completing her first year of college and then deciding to stay in that city for the summer to work. I just assumed she would come home for the summer, and I am having to face the reality that she may never come home again, and I need to accept her independence and let her make her way in the world. I guess I was not ready for that to happen just yet- wasn’t it just yesterday that she was a little girl?? And now my youngest will be starting high school in the fall…….time passes so quickly. Enjoy every minute with your precious son.

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