Guilty Secret

A nine-year-old boy lives in my house, which means any words even remotely related to the bathroom are hilarious.  Even words that SOUND like bathroom words are cause for snickers and laughter.

The Mom:  “Do you want butter on your waffles?”

The Boy:  “Heh.  You said butt!”

You get the picture.

Here’s my guilty secret:  Apparently, I am only slightly older than my kid, perhaps nine-and-a-half, because I?  Think these words are hilarious, too!

When he says the words, I do my best to tell him it’s not O.K. and that he needs to stop.  Because I am nine-and-A-HALF and know better, right?

But he can see my (often failed) attempts to keep a straight face.  Sometimes, I just give up and laugh out loud.

I know!  What is wrong with me?!

My biggest fear is that he will forget himself at school and the words will slip out and I’ll be called into the principal’s office to discuss my boy’s choice of words.  I am ready for that day.  I will express surprise and shock and declare that NO ONE in our house talks that way or thinks it’s acceptable behavior.

And I will try to keep a straight face.


Someone needs to come and save this kid from his mother.  Fast.

3 responses to “Guilty Secret

  1. I have a spare bed…he can stay with me.

  2. Heh. My husband is anxiously awaiting the debut of a cartoon called Grossology on Discovery Kids, so you are certainly not alone.

  3. It’s not any easier with girls…..

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