Guess The Joke’s On Me

We have a programable thermostat at our house.  Because I am a miser, I am in charge of that programable thermostat.  I take great care to make sure we are not using ONE EXTRA MINUTE of heat or AC that we don’t absolutely need.  I actually enjoy setting the schedule for the week and weekends, setting the temperature higher and lower as I deem necessary.  It makes me feel powerful somehow, like I am doing all I can to be economical and to not waste our energy.  Sometimes it’s the little things, for me, anyway.

So, in the last couple of weeks, I notice that the times and temperatures don’t seem right.  The heat is turning off and on at times I don’t remember setting on days that aren’t quite right.  Sure, I could just, you know, go over and check the thermostat.  But I can’t see it without my glasses and so, I give up and walk away, figuring I’ll grab my glasses later.

Then, I just decide the thermostat must be broken.  Yep, that’s what I decided, all on my own, without even getting my glasses and looking at the thermostat.  I don’t tell the husband because it will just be another OH MY GOODNESS, HOW WILL WE PAY FOR THIS?!  I can’t blame him- being out of work for going on 10 months will do that to ya.

So, I keep this little piece of information to myself.  I picked today, you know, April 1st, to grab my glasses and actually LOOK at the thermostat.

And you know what?  I discovered I never changed the time on it when that thing called “daylight savings time” happened, oh, A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO. 

Also?  The day was set for Saturday.  Um, today is Thursday.  I thought back to the day I decided to change a temperature by one degree because it felt one degree too hot and we can’t have that.  Must have accidentally messed up the day.

Silly me.  The thermostat is NOT broken.  And that?  Makes this a perfect day for me!

Happy April Fool’s Day! 

Apparently, I can make my own entertainment for the day.

And?  Not even realize I’m doing it!

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Fifty

This past week was the last of my forties.  I spent it being really excited to head into my fifties.

Fifty hard-won years, baby!

This past decade was the best decade ever for me.  That red-headed kid was born three months after I turned forty.

And he?  Changed my life forever. 

I consider my life before him my black and white life.  After he came along, I lived my life in living color.  He is the reason this past decade was the best decade ever. 

Birthdays and growing older have never really bothered me.  There were a few years in my thirties I didn’t care for much.  A birthday marked another year where I was reminded that I wasn’t quite where I wanted to be in this life.  I thought I would never be married, have kids.  But for the most part, I am proud of each year I’ve made it through.  I’m not really a party person but I like to quietly celebrate  another year well lived.

Yesterday, the teachers and kids in my classroom at school honored me with cards and small gifts and doughnuts.  I was given a lovely tiara that they said I had to wear all day, because I was the Birthday Girl.  I groaned (inside, of course) because if you know me at all (Hi, Mom!), you know that I am so NOT a tiara kind of person. 

But you know what?  I put that wonderful tiara on and it felt pretty good.  It was another way to show that I Am 50 And Proud Of It!  I wore that tiara until I left school.  It sits on my kitchen counter now, a reminder of the past awesome decade and the hope of the next decade to come.

This life has many hard parts, for me, for you, for everyone.  Even if you’re happy with your life, even if you have people that love and care about you, even if you have plenty of money.  It’s just plain hard.  So if you’ve lived another year, be proud, celebrate that you simply made it through and lived to tell about it.  Focus on the positives, no matter how small.  And have hope for the year to come.

That’s what I plan to do.

Hope, Revisited

 

It’s happened again.

I thought last year was hard but, this year?

Worse!

And aren’t ya glad you came here to read that?

I write about lots of things here, but I don’t write about the worst.  Because those worst things are not for me to write about here.  I just don’t.  But I can still tell you this has been the hardest year ever for me.

However? 

I made it through!  I am still here!

And that? 

Gives me hope.

Spring is just around the corner, folks.  May your life be filled with as much hope as these small, yellow flowers popping up at the base of this stick bush brings me.

Faith….Hope….Love….Peace.

The Birds Know

This past weekend, the weather turned warm and lovely here.  I know it will turn cold again before the searing heat of summer comes to stay but for a few days, I’m basking in the spring-like weather.  I am so NOT a fall/winter person, I am much more of a spring/summer person.

When the weather turns lovely, I am drawn to my yard and I pick over it, inch by inch, pruning, clearing, straightening.  I have not always been a yard work person but I find in the last few years, I have come to enjoy this work.  It calms me and gives me a chance to think, sort things out.

After doing a bit of work, I felt glad and grateful for the day.  Yard work does that to me.  So, I texted my “yard work sister”, the one that has enjoyed yard work even longer than I have.  (I have a “yard work mom”, too but, alas, she does not text.)

The conversation with my sister went like this:

Me:  I see a lot of spring around this yard= Hope.  Filling the bird feeder.

And ya know?  She was doing yard work, too!  Her answer:

Sister:  Mowed both lawns.  Got some dirt from h.depot 2 fill holes.  Birds r talkin here.

Me:  Here too- thought I heard them say “Fill the bird feeder.”

Sister:  Ever wonder where they r when it rains?

Me:  And then on a random day, I fill the feeder and they r right there.  Our trees r still bare- where r they watching me from?

Sister:  Secret bird clubs

Even after a day, this still makes me laugh out loud.

Spring- thank goodness it’s just around the corner.  At least that’s what the birds say.

And I believe them.

Faith….Hope….Love….Peace.

First Place, Baby!

After eating, sleeping and breathing the Science Fair for three long months, that red-headed kid took first place in the 4th grade. 
 
First place!  
 
I didn’t think he would win first place, and so, being the wonderful, supportive mom that I am, I PUT MY CAMERA AWAY after second place was awarded. 

Mother of the Year- that’s me! 
 
When I made my way up to the stage to take his picture with the principal, I found a kid with the biggest smile ever on his face.  Naturally, I am more than proud of him, but really?  He should be proud of himself- he worked hard and went that “extra mile” that I’m always nagging, I mean, telling him about.

Before walking back to my seat after taking his picture up on the stage, I looked at him and our eyes met for a moment.  It felt like he was thanking me for helping him with that look, saying,  “We did it, Mom!”  We have been through so much together, this boy and I, especially in the last year.  My heart grew a little larger for him in that moment.  After nine years with him, I’m surprised my heart still fits inside my body, it’s grown that much.
 
And I remembered all those late nights and early mornings we shared when he was just a small baby.  I would be so tired but my child development background wouldn’t let me stay quiet:  I talked to him and talked to him and then talked to him some more, knowing that some day, it would have been worth it. 
 
Totally worth it, baby! 

 

Positive Glasses

So, I made my new year’s goal and then just stopped writng here for a while.

Why?

Because Iwas busy.

And also?

I had nothing positive to say.

I started the new year working at keeping this goal.  Really, I did.  I did great that first week. 

The second week?  Well, not so much. 

One night, as I was talking with the boy before bedtime, he said something negative.  I said,  “Oh, no, no.  Let’s get back on a positive thought.”  He said that there was nothing positive he could say.  So, I started to tell him about my goal for the new year.  I told him that when times are tough, it’s harder to be positive but, if you look really hard, you can find even the smallest of positives.

He grumbled some more.

I just started talking then and told him I had a pair of Positive Glasses that I just happened to pick up and I keep them in my pocket at all times (I patted my pocket where my glasses lived).  On a day when it’s particularly difficult to see those small positives, I told him that’s when I know I need to take those glasses out and put them on.  I got up off his bed, took those glasses out of my pocket, pretended to clean them off and put them on.  I exclaimed over the positives I could now see regarding his negative situation.

It was so silly!  Back in the old days, I worked with preschoolers every day.  My favorite times were having group time, chatting with kids and spinning stories as they listened.  This story was really a story for a 4 or 5 year old.  My boy is nine.  I waited for him to roll his eyes or say,  “Yeah, whatever, Mom.”

But he didn’t.  He laughed and said,  “Mom!”.  I kept on, calling out the positives I saw that appeared to be everywhere, now that I had my glasses out of my pocket and on my eyes.  He laughed again.  Then, we were both laughing. 

That?  Is a huge positve, one I don’t need glasses to see.

Since our night time conversation, I have patted my pocket more than once, reminding my boy that if he needs those glasses, they are ready and waiting.  It makes us laugh, or at least smile every time.

So, get out your positive glasses, folks!  I have mine.  They’re right here in my pocket.

And remember:  Like all glasses, they only work if you wear them.

Faith….Hope….Love….Peace.

Parting Words To 2009: See Ya!

Can I just say that 2009 was the worst year ever for me?

O.K., I will.

2009 was the worst year ever for me.

I say that in the most positive way:  WORST. YEAR. EVER.

And yet, it doesn’t change the fact that life goes on, the sun still rises, I still have to get up each morning and face the day.  So I do, I will.

But a new year brings hope, a chance to start over.  I’m not crazy enough to think just because a new year is starting, things will automatically get better. 

I’m a little crazy, but not THAT crazy.

However, a brand new year can still carry hope.  Sometimes?  Hope is all you have.

I’m not one to make new year’s resolutions (although many years ago I resolved to stop biting my nails and I did!), but I always try to set a few goals.  This year, I will try to find the positive in this life, even when it is hard to see.

Like, even though the husband has been out of work for 6 months, our yard looks great since he has so much extra time to do yard work, sometimes raking leaves AS THEY ARE FALLING.

Yeah, I know it’s a stretch. 

Still, finding the positive is my goal for 2010.  And being kinder.  And a bit more patient.

This kid?  A HUGE positive in my life.

And I don’t even have to look hard to see that.

So, 2009?  Go on, GET OFF MY LAWN, YOU CRAZY YEAR!

Happy New Year to you and everyone you love or care about.

Faith….Hope….Love….Peace.